How Employees Experience Being Fired, And What You Can Learn From It

Confession time: I’ve been fired on more than one occasion.

The first time, it came with zero warning. I had no indication it was coming, had received no negative feedback, performance review, or improvement plan. I was working hard one minute and the next I was a phone call with my boss being told that they were letting me go and they weren’t going to tell me why. To this day, I have absolutely no idea what happened.

The second time it didn’t come so much out of the blue – I was unhappy, and the organization was not run well. But it was similar in that I had not received any official negative feedback about my performance. I was pulled into a conference room one day and told it wasn’t working out. A few months later, I received a phone call from a trusted friend who told me that the person who had been reporting to me was bragging at a conference that he convinced my boss’s boss to fire me so he could take my job and make more money.

The general perception of people who are fired is that they were screw-ups who weren’t doing their job (or made huge, unjustifiable mistakes) and that’s why they were let go. And though that may be true in some circumstances, as I’ve moved on in my career I’ve heard story after story of folks going through similar experiences to mine – being fired with little-to-no warning, no feedback, and no help or support from their bosses to improve what was lacking.

So, earlier this year, I decided to ask some questions to understand the broader experiences of people who have been fired. I surveyed 1,050 people who have been fired from a job, asking them the same set of quantitative and qualitative questions about their experiences. To say the results surprised me would be an understatement. I’m presenting them here, along with quotes from participants to illustrate their experiences.

A few things to keep in mind.

As you’re exploring the results, please keep in mind that the participants self-identified and self-selected to participate in this research. That means that the results are not intended to be generalized to the larger population or indicative all of the experiences of people being fired.

Additionally, I was only concerned with the experiences of the individuals who were fired. I have not fact-checked their accounts of their firing for accuracy with their organization that let them go. These stories represent their perception of what happened.

Were they provided feedback that their performance wasn’t up to snuff?

When you think of someone being fired, it can be easy to assume that they were underperforming consistently for a length of time, and believe they have been given feedback about their performance. However, that’s not always the case.

Of those who participated in the study:

• 75% said their manager never met with them to discuss their concerns before firing them.
• 59% said they had not received any performance review from their manager.
• Of those who had received a performance review, 87% said there was no indication that they were at any risk of being fired.
• 90% reported they were not put on any sort of performance improvement plan (PIP) before being fired.
• Of the 10% who were on a PIP, 73% said they did not believe the PIP was a fair assessment of their performance.

Here are a few select stories about the role feedback played in their termination, in the words of the respondents:

• “[My boss] told me everyone loved me up until the day I was fired. It was a very bizarre experience.”
• “I was given no prior warning that my personality was bothering other people. When I was fired, my boss told me that it had been a problem for nearly six weeks. I asked why I was never informed (nor given the opportunity for reflection and improvement) and that made him extremely angry.”
• “[My PIP] included a lot of things that weren’t actually requirements of the job I was in and also a lot of things that were not measurable.”
• “I had no communication that I was not meeting expectations. My manager never talked about a performance plan or mentorship.”
• “[There was] no negative feedback from anyone until my direct report called me into a conference room with a severance agreement for me to sign.”
• “I was never written up, talked to, given any indication that my performance was less than fantastic. I had received great annual reviews, had great peer relationships, received raises and bonuses.”
• “I have never received a negative performance evaluation/ complaint or comment, nor am I aware of any dispute in which I could have been involved.”
• “In the 18 months I was there I had three bosses, met with them a total of five times (yes, I had one boss I never met with), never had a performance review, and I was never informed there was an issue with my performance.”

When they were fired, 68% of participants noted they were surprised – they had not seen it coming. This tended to be slightly higher among the groups who had not received previous feedback on their performance through a conversation, performance review, or a PIP.

• “I had not received any coaching or encouragement to perform better.”
• “While I knew there were problems with the income I was generating, I thought that I was excelling at other parts of my job. I didn’t realize how short the ‘proving’ time was going to be.”
• “I believed that, despite all the obstacles, I was doing good work, and many employees were doing far less work (and lower quality work) than I was without any negative consequences. I didn’t understand how deep the good old boy network really went in the organization. My termination was done at one of the very, very, rare meetings with my boss, so there was no indication there was anything out of the ordinary.”
• “I had been taking on more and more responsibilities outside of my original role, and my employer seemed happy with my performance. I asked for a raise on a Friday, and was fired the following Monday.”

What role did their boss play in their termination?

A commonality among the participants is that the majority of them did not feel as though their boss was in their corner. Just 38% of participants felt their boss was supportive of their work, and 45% reported they had a good relationship with their boss.

• “He was very inexperienced and to my knowledge had never taken any management training. He was also the 3rd boss I’d had at the company. They transferred employees around a lot at that company. I also felt he did not care genuinely about me or my career, even before the PIP. Lastly, he was dealing with severe alcoholism which led to him being forgetful and taking it out on his employees. The company was offering him support and treatment, but they overcompensated and did not keep him in check when it came to his employees.”
• “[My boss] hated me for some reason. I tried to get him to talk and he wouldn’t admit there was an issue. When the male employees made comments about women my boss was right there and allowed it to continue.”
• “I had three bosses in 18 months. None understood what I did, and none ever wanted to meet with me. The boss who fired me had been there for six weeks and never met with me.”
• “She is climbing the ladder and doesn’t care who she stabs/ damages along the way. She picked her favorites, and they could do no wrong.”
• “My boss gave my job to his daughter after I was fired.”
• “[My boss] was completely incompetent. He would steal my strategy ideas and present them as his own to position himself.”
• “She would not make eye contact with me or speak to me if I were in the same room with her.”
• “Partial truths were listed to justify my firing. I felt I had a manager who threw me under the bus when things went wrong. She didn’t develop me or give me a chance to fix it or improve what I know I could have done a better job at if given another chance.”

How do they perceive their firing?

In most situations, employees have an “at will” agreement with their organization, which means they can be fired at any time for any reason, or for no reason at all. Twenty percent of respondents in the study were not given a reason for their dismissal.

Of the 80% who were given a reason for their termination, 58% did not believe the reason presented to them as a justification of their dismissal was the real reason for the firing:

• “I know two particular people were gunning for me. I had applied for another promotion, and am certain they saw me as a threat.”
• “The company wasn’t performing well and I knew that the new general manager was going to fire one of his managers to demonstrate his power. My department was performing well and I had the best indicators. However, I also was the only one with a backup completely trained. I was the least complicated to fire.”
• “He was angry that I fired his mistress and had no other way to deal with it.”
• “I had recently stated that I would not mislead the customer. I gave sales presentations to customers, and we had a large competitor moving in on our customers. To keep our business, I was coached to tell the customer we were matching the benefits of the competitor – even though we could not deliver. I refused to lead the customer on, and my manager was furious at me.”
• “I was 35 weeks pregnant at the time and had a glowing annual review three months prior. I am confident my pregnancy announcement after that review was the cause of my termination.”

Given the whole of their experience in the process, 19% of participants stated they felt their firing was fair. Participants were significantly more likely to say their termination was appropriate if they had received previous feedback on their performance, and their employers had set clear expectations for performance.

• “Fair? Sure. Did I like it? No. But the company didn’t have unlimited money to continue to pay me while I wasn’t bringing in the amount of revenue they needed. It made sense to cut the extra weight.”
• “I wasn’t the person they were looking for and the company was a startup without the money to keep me.”
• “Truthfully I wasn’t doing much. I found the task menial and extremely dull.”
• “Constructive criticism was given regularly throughout my time with the company. I learned a lot from my job there, so I took my mistakes as learning experiences.”
• “I had made my dissatisfaction clear to the department head and I believe it was obvious that I did not intend to stay there long term. It was logical for them to look for someone who might stay. I think that the unfairness was in the way I had been treated there as an employee. This impacted my ability to build a career there or be committed to the organization long term. The organization made it clear that employee satisfaction was not a priority. My local supervisor (the department head) also made it clear that she did not respect me as a person.”

The rest of the participants – 81% – felt their firing was unjust. This number increased to 90% when they had received a previously positive performance review that did not indicate their position was in danger, or provide substantive feedback regarding how they could improve.

• “Senior leadership didn’t invest any effort to help me improve my performance and they didn’t indicate my job might be at risk at any point. They also didn’t encourage or support me when they noticed I was struggling. I wasn’t even sure they noticed that I was struggling with the workload.”
• “The company failed to protect me from the threatening employee. I was hospitalized because of it. Instead of taking responsibility, they put all of the blame on me. I reported that male employees were making comments in front of me to each other to not say anything within 5 feet of another woman, and my boss admitted to the manager that was true and they did nothing.”
• “Despite 10 years of giving 100%, they allowed a couple personalities to dictate my path. I was fired just before the holiday, with three young kids at home and offered a pitiful severance.”
• “After 10 years of loyal employment, I expected better treatment by HR and upper management. I did not have one black mark or complaint on my record.”
• “Life has no ‘fairness guarantee’ does it? There was duplicity and ‘backroom maneuvering’ to bring about my dismissal. My boss was not a part of the discussion and shocked at the end result.”
• “I wasn’t given an improvement plan, I was never really given guidance or training for the work I was expected to do, and I only got a clear take on what the expectations were as I was being fired (in that I was told I hadn’t met them).”

How did they react when they were fired?

Upon receiving the news of their termination, the most common responses were shock and embarrassment.

• “I cried. I thought we were going to chat about a performance review plan, or that I might finally receive some support for improvement. The workload was intense. But he said I was being let go effective immediately and it was a surprise to me.”
• “I held my head down because I felt dead inside. I only put my head down to make my manager think I was getting ready to cry. I wasn’t. I felt absolutely nothing. I got up to leave and my first real feeling was a relief. I was glad it was over.”
• “I was shocked. When he gave the reasons, I am sure my face showed incredulity at what was being said.”
• “I felt ashamed that I had been fired and cried on the phone when I had to tell my wife.”
• “I cried. I was in shock. I felt I was a failure. I struggled with my identity for a couple of years after that. I realized to never trust anyone at work and to always have my guard up. Everyone is in it for themselves.”
• From a participant who found out she was being fired when an email was sent out to her team telling everyone she was being let go before they told her: “It felt like I was watching a movie about me being fired. It was hard to grasp. I just sat at my desk, after reading I was being fired, and couldn’t move. And I watched my two office mates cry as they were just as shocked.”

What advice do they have for others?

Hindsight is 20/20 and 77% of the respondents in this study were fired more than a year before participating, giving them some breathing room for reflection. When asked for their advice for people who have just been fired, the responses were resoundingly optimistic and forward-looking:

• “It happens. Even if you feel the situation is unfair, look at the feedback and take what you can out of it. It’s okay to feel like the situation sucks, to be sad, or angry, or shamed or whatever else you feel. But feel it and move on, don’t let it shake your confidence, learn from it and grow.”
• &qu
  ot;Take some time to take care of yourself and remind yourself that you’re worth it. Get a manicure, take yourself out for lunch, go on a weekend trip to clear your head. Give yourself some time to mourn before you jump into the new job search.”
• “Let your feeling surface and go through all the emotions. Talk it out. Try to see it as a stepping stone for better. I really believe things happen for a reason but at that time can be pretty dark and depressing. I found a great job three months later I was valued at and I loved it.”
• “It is not about you. It is about them. Do not take it personally and do not let it affect your confidence in applying to new positions.”
• “Stay positive. Get out of the house every day. Move. Don’t sit on the couch. Take free classes online. Expand your knowledge.”
• “First, take time to relax and step away. Second, remember who you are. There’s always a great story there. Talk with everyone who will be willing to talk with you and find a role you’ll love. The opportunity will come once you know those things. Be patient, humble and an optimistic.”
• “This may seem like the end of the world but I promise things will get better. After a few years and you won’t even remember how bad it feels initially after being fired. Whenever you get the next opportunity, work extra hard and prove that previous company that they missed out on a valuable asset.”

What can employers learn?

As you might imagine, when asked for their advice for their organizations, the participants in this study didn’t have too many nice things to say! Many of their comments involved profanity that probably isn’t very productive here.

However, there are certainly lessons that can be learned from their stories.

• Set clear expectations, and don’t avoid the tough conversations: The difference between an employee who understands the reason they were fired and generally doesn’t have hard feelings about it, and the employee that is likely to go on Glassdoor and blast your organization to high heaven is feedback. The expectations for their performance are clear, and when they are not meeting expectations they are told about it and offered help, guidance, and support. These conversations may not be pleasant but they are a must if you are interested in helping your employees improve, rather than just showing them the door.
• Rethink your performance review process: If your managers are not completing performance reviews, or if those reviews are not providing the information your team members need to improve their performance, then the process is fundamentally broken. Take a hard look at it and ask yourself if your current review process would save someone from termination based on the stories you’ve read here.
• Train your managers: People don’t wake up one day and learn how to be amazing bosses. Your managers are on the front line of the employee experience, and many of the performance issues that resulted in the termination of those surveyed likely could have been avoided if they had a boss who was prepared for the responsibility that true leadership entails.
• Create a clear process for termination, and hold people to it: If a manager or executive can declare someone’s dismissal on a whim, without providing documentation that is it warranted or providing that person with the opportunity to improve, then what does that say about your organization and its culture?

At the end of the day, firings happen. However, organizations have an ethical obligation to their team to make sure they handle the situation appropriately. How you show people the door says a lot about how you perceive and value your workforce.