The world is a perfect place. It’s not perfect in the sense that we get what we want the minute we dream it up. However, it is perfect in that we will get exactly what we should expect to get based on how we’re contributing to the situation. Contributions can come in the form of the perspective we bring, the inner dialogue we have with ourselves and (of course!) the actions we take.
So, let’s apply this idea to work: If you want to create a more mindful professional experience, it’s about changing your contribution and focusing on the things you can control rather than expending energy on the things you can’t. And oftentimes, it’s just about eliminating the things that don’t serve your goals. To get started, here are five things you can stop doing to bring more mindfulness into your workday.
Stop being reactive to what’s going on around you.
Sure, when your boss is after you for something, you’ve got too much on your plate and your co-workers all seem to want a piece of you, work can feel like a very stressful place. However, the key to managing your stress isn’t about putting an end to the chaos around you. Instead, it’s in managing the way you respond to it. It’s simply a matter of where you’re putting your energy – if your focus is on what people are doing to you, that’s putting yourself in the position of being a victim of circumstance. However, if your focus is on what you can do to achieve your best result regardless of what your co-workers are saying or doing, that’s a much more empowering position.
Next time you’re feeling stressed, stop, take a breath and ask yourself how you can look at things differently to see a more positive outcome. Then you can act as though that positive outcome is the most logical outcome, giving yourself a much better chance of creating it in the process!
Stop focusing on all the things that are going wrong.
Noted psychologist Carl Jung once remarked, “What you resist will not only persist, but will grow in size.” Things aren’t always going to go the way you initially want them to at work—it’s unavoidable. However, you have a choice: You can focus your attention on fighting the things you don’t like to try to change them, or you can look for ways to go with the flow of the situation and discover previously unseen opportunities.
For example, say you’ve been fighting for the budget to support a new strategy you’re passionate about, but your request ultimately gets denied, taking the pursuit of the project off the table. On the face of it, this seems like a setback. You could get upset about the loss, send angry emails to your boss and key decision makers and complain about it in the kitchen where everyone can hear you. But let’s consider what you’ll get with that contribution: Not only will that approach probably not convince them to give you the budget you want, but you’re also not setting yourself up to get future requests either, making the problem even bigger.
Instead, try going with the flow. You could approach it by acknowledging you’re disappointed but understanding that just because you got a “no” today doesn’t mean it’s no forever. Perhaps you put the project idea on the backburner until the timing is better, without giving up on the idea entirely. Then, you could focus your attention on opportunities that you’re freed up to pursue, or come up with other innovative ideas to advance your goals. Who knows, you might come up with an even better idea that you never would have had the opportunity to pursue if the first request had been granted!
Stop gossiping about your co-workers.
Sure, spreading a bit of gossip or venting in the kitchen or behind a closed office door can feel great for the moment, but let’s be honest: Does anything good ever really come from it? At best, you’ve made yourself feel better for a brief moment at the expense of a co-worker. But more likely, your co-worker hears about it second or third hand, and you’ve seriously damaged your working relationship. No one ever wins with gossip. The upside is really non-existent.
If you believe that solid relationships with your co-workers lead to a better work experience, you must be mindful that your actions should align with that belief. So, just say no to gossip. Even if others are doing it and you just happen to be in the room, you have no obligation to engage – politely excuse yourself and focus your attention on things that will enhance your experience rather than detracting from it.
Stop leaving your calendar wide open.
There’s a reason that most people’s calendars are full of meetings all the time—they let it happen by leaving their calendar wide open at all times and letting anyone schedule on it. No, you’ll never be able to eliminate all of the meetings, but what you can do is take control of your day and your calendar by blocking time on it proactively. Then, if people try to schedule over it, stick to your guns and say no unless it’s a true emergency.
This will accomplish a few things. First, blocking your calendar will give you a chance to have focused time to work on tasks and move things off your t0-do list. You’re empowering yourself to take control of your day, rather than leaving control in the hands of everyone around you.
You’ll also set yourself up to stop multi-tasking, which is one of the great productivity killers of any work experience. When you’re doing it well, you won’t just be generically blocking your calendar – you’ll be assigning a task to each block. From 10 – 10:30 a.m., you’re working on the project proposal. From 10:30-11am, you’re focusing on creating an agenda for your next staff meeting. And so on and so forth. Then, do your best to eliminate all other distractions (hint: turn off your email) and focus on the task at hand. Chances are, you’ll get through it much faster than you otherwise would have, and can move on to the next thing with time to spare.
But most of all, blocking your calendar sends the message to everyone (including to yourself!) that your time is valuable and should be respected. We teach people how to treat us. If your co-workers know that you’ll drop everything that’s important to you on their whim, they will never value the time you give them. But if you set your boundaries and commit to them, they will learn to work within them.
Stop being overly critical of yourself.
If you’re like most people, then you going into work every day and try to do your very best, but you’ll make mistakes along the way. You wouldn’t be human if you did everything perfectly all the time! But the worst thing you can do when things don’t go as planned, or you don’t get the outcome you want, is beat yourself up.
Look at it this way: If you find yourself doubting your abilities at work, or having a case of imposter syndrome, you’re actually in a better position to be successful than someone who doesn’t. This is the Dunning-Kruger Effect in action – the idea that people who are legitimately incompetent can
‘t recognize that they’re incompetent. They lack the knowledge and experience required to recognize that something has gone wrong, which are exactly what will enable you to iterate your way to a better solution.
We’re all just works in progress. There are always going to be improvements you can make, things you can learn and people who you perceive as being “better” than you. That’s life! But being hard on yourself isn’t going to help you get to that next level – it’s just going to stall you where you’re currently at. So, try to be your own biggest fan, knowing that the knowledge and experience you’ve acquired up to this point in your career gives you all the tools you need to achieve whatever it is you have your sights on.
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