Can you adapt authentically?

One of the things I’m always preaching about is the necessity of adaptation in the workplace as a way to help you achieve your goals and build better working relationships.
Essentially, this has a few steps to it:

• Being consistently mindful of your work style – the innate preferences and tendencies that you bring with you to work every single day.
• Understanding that some of the people you work with share your work style, but most of them do not.
• Reserving judgement for those who do things differently than you do – a different work style isn’t good or bad. It’s just different.
• Making a proactive effort to adapt to your co-workers by understanding what they need from you on any given project or task.

That’s a long-winded way of saying that it’s about meeting people where they are, even if that’s different than where you are. For example, if you prefer a generally fast-pace, and the person you’re working with is a bit more cautious and likes to think through problems pragmatically, then slow down a bit and make sure their questions are answered. Or if your boss likes to hear the high level bullet points instead of digging into a huge spreadsheet of numbers that you spent hours putting together, make sure you have those top three points called out. Or if you need something from the office manager and she likes to make small talk first, just make small talk even if it’s not your preferred way to spend your time.
When you do this well, you build trust. You build better working relationships. You get more from people. And it’s just more enjoyable to come into work.

“You’re asking me to change myself?!?!”

But the question I always get asked when I tell people that adaptation is their key to the kingdom is some version of the following:

“You’re asking me to change who I am?!?! How can I be authentic!”

Let’s be clear about this: I’m not asking you to change the core of who you are. This is not about who you are as a human being. This is about how you approach your work, and being mindful of doing so in a way that serves your goals.
You see, adaptation may seem to be about other people, but it’s really quite a selfish act in the very best way. By giving others what they need psychologically to come along with your plans, you’re making it easy for them to do so and to buy into your ideas. You’re also establishing trust – they know you’re going to be easy to work with instead of fighting tooth and nail every step of the way. Back in the day, people might call adaptation simply being considerate of one another. You can’t expect others to be considerate of your needs if you don’t first extend the curtesy of being considerate of theirs.
At some point, the cultural definition of authenticity became synonymous with the idea of digging one’s heels in and delivering a point they know won’t be well received, for the sake of being “real”. Does anything good ever come out of a person’s mouth when they say “I’m going to be real with you” or “I’m just being real”? Usually it’s preceded or followed by something they know the other person is going to find demotivating (or downright insulting) and they’re trying to temper it by saying they’re being authentic. But it’s not authenticity. Delivering critical feedback to a team member has nothing to do with who you are or what you’re passionate about. What you’re really trying to do when you’re “being real” is getting someone to go along with your ideas. You can fight them…or you can adapt to them and bring them along with your ideas more smoothly.

Adapting will help you discover new aspects of yourself

When you’re a kid, generally speaking your default is to be happy because you haven’t learned the harsh lessons of other people letting you down yet! But as you get older and have more negative experiences with others, you start to close yourself off little by little as a way to keep yourself safe. By the time you’re an adult with several years in the professional world under your belt, most people have pretty well shut themselves off and have locked into their way of doing things. It’s a defense mechanism and it’s all about control – subconsciously, the more control you perceive yourself to have over your day-to-day, the more safe you are.
When you start adapting to others, you begin to break down those barriers you’ve built over years and year because you’re opening yourself up to a new way of doing things. When you open yourself up, you’re going to discover new aspects of yourself that were always there, but that you had buried for years and years to maintain control over your environment. So yes, in adapting to others your current understanding of who you are might change, but that’s not a bad thing. Resist the urge to hang onto your old way of doing things simply because that’s the way you’ve done them before – you’re only hurting yourself by preventing your own evolution.

Be comfortable being uncomfortable.

Think about going to the gym. You’ve got your standard workout that you like and have gotten used to over the time you’ve been doing it…but one day you decide you want to change it up. Maybe you typically spend a lot of time on the elliptical doing cardio and today you decide you want to start lifting weights. What’s going to happen: You’re going to have to learn how to use the equipment, you’re going to have to experiment with the amount of weight you use, and you’re going to be terribly sore the next day! It’s a new world for you and the first time you do it will be uncomfortable. But the next time will be easier. And the time after that, easier still.
Adapting to people you work with is really no different, except that it’s a mental discomfort rather than a physical one. When you first start adapting to different ways of doing things, it is going to feel terribly uncomfortable. You’re literally pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone into what, to you, is an unknown. Because human beings are creatures of habit, this will cause you a bit of mental distress. Accept that as a part of the process, knowing that it will get a little be easier each time.

DISC is your adaptation short cut

I love the DISC profiles so much because they are your short cut to knowing exactly how you need to adapt. There’s no guess work involved – it tells you what your work style is and how to adapt to others in one easy little packet of information. If you want a glimpse at what your DISC profile might say, you can take this really quick free work style quiz, or you can take the full DISC profile for a small fee. You don’t need a DISC profile to do this, but it makes life a heck of a lot easier when you have all the information in front of you.

 Teach your team to adapt

When teams take the full DISC profile together, they are given the tools to speak a common language in the workplace that helps them work better, achieve more, and love the environment they come to work in. Reach out if you’d like to discuss doing it with your team.

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